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Pregnant Kansas City mother of 5 remembered as 'boy mom,' victim of domestic violence

Braisen Cain, mother of five boys, with one of her children.
GoFundMe
Braisen Cain, mother of five boys, with one of her children.

Braisen Cain, 42, is the city's 18th victim of intimate partner violence so far this year, a significant increase from last year. Experts say cases are growing more violent, with survivors reporting an escalation of threats like use of guns and strangulation.

Braisen Nicole Cain was a "boy mom," a single parent of five sons who constantly had them out in nature, playing with dogs, camping, fishing and paddling.

She was devoted to her boys, was pregnant with a sixth, and was a light to other mothers in her family. On Saturday, friends and family wore purple, Cain's favorite color, as they attended her funeral at Trinity United Methodist Church in Kansas City.

Cain, 42, was killed in her front yard on Aug. 6, struck first by a pickup and then shot 21 times. Her former boyfriend, Arel Dawkins, was charged last week with first-degree murder and armed criminal action in her death. Cain was pregnant with Dawkins' child, and he also was the father of her youngest, a 2-year-old.

"She was a light that just shone," said Jonova Lavon Robinson, a former sister-in-law and aunt to three of Cain's children. "Her smile just lit up the room. She was so kind, so patient. She was a boy mom."

Cain is the 18th victim of domestic violence-related homicide in Kansas City this year, a significant increase from last year's total of 12, and a trend city officials warned as an "alarming increase" back in April.

Braisen Cain's family members stand outside Trinity United Methodist Church in Kansas City before Cain's funeral on Saturday. From left to right, they are Jonova Ladon Robinson, Cain's sister-in-law; Deetta Pierce, Cain's cousin; and Stausha Ramirez, Cain's niece.
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Braisen Cain's family members stand outside Trinity United Methodist Church in Kansas City before Cain's funeral on Saturday. From left to right, they are Jonova Ladon Robinson, Cain's sister-in-law; Deetta Pierce, Cain's cousin; and Stausha Ramirez, Cain's niece.

A Kansas City, Kansas, homicide is also being blamed on domestic violence. Shawn Harris, 38, is charged with capital murder in the killing of a Wyandotte County Sheriff's deputy who responded to a call to from Harris's former girlfriend.

Nationally, although homicides and other violent crimes are down, domestic violence is the only offense to increase so far this year, according to the Council on Criminal Justice in a July report.

Experts cite a host of reasons for the rise, including easy access to firearms, which increases the risk of homicide for women by 500%, said Lisa Fleming, CEO of Rose Brooks Center, a nonprofit dedicated to fighting domestic violence. She also cited social isolation, a lack of social support and a reduction in resources and safety networks, such as emergency shelters and safe, affordable housing.

Significantly this year, Fleming said, counselors are hearing from survivors that the severity of the violence is escalating.

"More survivors are reporting to us of being threatened with a firearm, threats of being killed and strangulation," Fleming said. "So it may be that in the past the domestic violence was happening that may not have risen to the level of reaching out to law enforcement, that the tragic outcomes of near death and fatalities weren't happening."

Dawkins, 36, who lived in Blue Springs, was reportedly angry that Cain had broken up with him. On Aug. 6, around 8 p.m., he allegedly struck her with his black Ford F-150 pickup and then, as she lay on the ground, got out of the truck, approached her and shot her, stopping only to reload his handgun, according to a Kansas City Police Department report.

Dawkins fled in his truck, but called a friend and allegedly confessed that he killed Cain and was thinking of suicide, police reports said. He was eventually picked up in Springfield, Missouri, and is being held in Jackson County.

Cain worked as an assistant teacher at the Academy of Integrated Arts, where the first day of school was last Thursday, said Tricia DeGraff, the school's executive director. Parents told DeGraff that it was difficult to tell their children that the teacher they knew and loved as Ms. Braisen was killed.

"Ms. Braisen's absence was profoundly felt throughout our entire community," DeGraff said. "I can't even begin to imagine the deep sense of loss that her children and family feel each morning when they wake up."

DeGraff said the last conversation she had with Cain was about how proud she was of her five boys.

A GoFundMe has been set up in hopes of raising money for Cain's children. Her oldest, 19-year-old Christopher McCoy Jr., started college last week and was moved into his dorm by Robinson and other family members.

Braisen Cain's sons are, from left, Aatyis Cain, 17; Christopher McCoy Jr., 19; Zailon McCoy, 13, holding Avenger Dawkins, 2; and Kingston McCoy, 16.
Cain family /
Braisen Cain's sons are, from left, Aatyis Cain, 17; Christopher McCoy Jr., 19; Zailon McCoy, 13, holding Avenger Dawkins, 2; and Kingston McCoy, 16.

Robinson's daughter, Stausha Ramirez, said her Aunt Braisen showed her how to be a "boy mom," to be fully present for each son and to tailor her reactions to each boy's ways. Ramirez has three sons and is pregnant with a fourth.

"It's not easy because all boys have different types of personalities," Ramirez said. "I definitely have a sensitive one, I have an outgoing one, the emotional one, so it's a learning curve. I really looked up to Braisen and her motherhood, how she just took care of those boys."

Deetta Pierce, Cain's cousin, said Cain had reached out for help before her death, reporting threats of violence, but didn't get any assistance, she said.

"The point of domestic violence, it's not just men, it's also women, it happens across the board," Pierce said. "Honestly it just needs to be talked about more."

If you or anyone you know is facing the threat of domestic violence, call Rose Brooks' hotline at 816-861-6100. The Kansas City Police Department has a list of resources online, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.

Copyright 2025 KCUR 89.3

Peggy Lowe
Peggy Lowe joined Harvest Public Media in 2011, returning to the Midwest after 22 years as a journalist in Denver and Southern California. Most recently she was at The Orange County Register, where she was a multimedia producer and writer. In Denver she worked for The Associated Press, The Denver Post and the late, great Rocky Mountain News. She was on the Denver Post team that won the Pulitzer Prize for breaking news coverage of Columbine. Peggy was a Knight-Wallace Fellow at the University of Michigan in 2008-09. She is from O'Neill, the Irish Capital of Nebraska, and now lives in Kansas City. Based at KCUR, Peggy is the analyst for The Harvest Network and often reports for Harvest Public Media.