NEUFELD: So what was the process of finding a publisher and actually, you know, getting it published? What was that process like, and how long did it take?
CEESAY: It took about a year and a half. It was a lot of me just sending it out to people. I think I sent it out to, like, 10 publishers. Some of them didn't answer, some of them didn't like it, and so then I was like, okay, if this one doesn't go through, I'm just going to scrap it and start all over again. And then I sent it to this guy through Rockwood Press through his email, and I was like, this is kind of weird, but he sent it back and he said, hey, I really like this, here's the draft of a contract, and we went from there. So a lot of trial and error and a lot of, like, doubting myself a little bit.
NEUFELD: So if I counted correctly there's 23 poems, a collection of 23 poems. When did you write those and what was inspiring you as you were writing them?
CEESAY: The first one that kind of made the collection was "Apology," and I wrote that sophomore year of high school. I wrote it for my school's poetry slam club, and my English teacher was really encouraging at the time. And so, because the collection is about my childhood and my upbringing, I was like, I have to include this. A lot of my inspiration obviously came from my parents and the very tumultuous relationship we have with each other. And then the Mae poems are about my wife, and so that is a part of kind of growing up because we got married when I was 22, and so I think those were important to include as well.
NEUFELD: Kind of building off of that, how did you go about choosing the poems? Were there any that you looked at and thought, maybe not for this particular book, but maybe something in the future?
CEESAY: Yeah. I really like animals, and so there was this poem, it’s called “Elegy for Tokitae,” which is about a whale. And I really liked the poem, but it just didn't fit with the theme. I wanted someone to read it and be like, oh, there's a through line, all of these poems have a similar theme. And so that one just didn't make the cut. But I really hope in the future that I can write more environmental poems, with that kind of theme and include that poem because I really liked it.
NEUFELD: The poems that ended up being in the book, you mentioned that you went through kind of, you know, the process of sending it out to people. Were you kind of editing them as— throughout the process? Or were— do you get to a certain point where you're like, no, I can't work on these anymore, they're done, they're finished? What was that like?
CEESAY: Yeah, I think every rejection I was like, okay, they didn't like this poem because I didn't like this poem, so I'm going to take it out or I'm going to completely redo it. And so the final product was completely different. And even, I think, as the chapbook stands right now, I can look at the poems and be like, I should have omitted that word, I should have taken that out, that stanza looks terrible. But it's like, I think I'll always have that kind of “I need to improve” constantly. I can't just let things be, and I think that's the writer in me. But I think a lot of it was formatting issues when I was going through, and I just wanted it to be perfect, and I think it's as perfect as it'll be from now on. I can't touch any of them because they're out there, so I'm grateful for that, which is really nice, yeah.
NEUFELD: Do you have any plans to publish more? Are you working on anything?
CEESAY: I do have plans to publish more. I can't, like, sit down and say, okay, today I'm going to write poetry. That's, like, terrible. I usually write poetry either in my head, or I do a voice note as I'm driving, or sometimes I'll, like, wake up from my sleep and be like, there is a poem brewing in me, I need to write it down. I hope to write a full collection next. But that's so much harder and so much scarier, and then I have to send it out to all these people, and then they wait, like, six months to get back to you. It's a whole thing. And so I hate waiting. But yeah, I do have plans to publish more in the future, for sure.
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